I tried to read the Lord of the Rings series in 6th grade, but my attention span was the size of a peanut. So I am going to try again. Starting with the Hobbit. Let's go.



I'm going to totally ignore the book I have to read for school. Heh.

Tathbub

Keep sliding down until your body realizes you're close to death. See how long it takes and laugh as you think to yourself "I should have jumped by now." 

Flesh.

No more burning cheeks and restless weeks.
Loathing is fun, watch your clothing run.
Too much information, rely on education.
Two months torture, don't you know your words scorch her?
Hide in lies, choke on cries.
Renew your boards, develop hoards.
Eat before blessed, can't get dressed.
Your sexual fun makes her load the gun.
Run a bit faster, stab yourself and the master.
Throw dagger words and make sure she is heard.
Hang up your rope, end something she can't cope.
Can I have a photo? Sir, that is a no go.
Middle finger to faces, bodies covered in laces.
You try to start up fresh, you care for nothing but flesh.

Today starts my winter vacation. I will be so happy and relaxed that I will cry.

May I just..

Shrink to a size where I can fit into a bowl, sail into the bath tub and conquer my goal?

Bounce on the keys of a solar calculator, grow a fluffy tail, and befriend an alligator?

Fence with a staple and fly with a kite, only to realize I'm just an inch of air height?

Laugh at the dust that runs into each other, only to be attacked by the Dust Bunny Mother?

Feast on a grape, engorge myself with orange juice, dance with celery until the stalk comes loose?

Kick around rocks and slide on bird feathers, move to the groove and talk to the weather?

Barrel roll a pencil, bathe in glitter, try to talk a flower out of that feeling to wither?

Hide in my kitten's fur, sneeze from the fluff, shout 'boo!' in her ear and feel her go puff!

Go on a mile walk around the small kitchen chair, find my missing iPod, and dodge all the hair?

Adventure in the caves of my Dad's smelly shoes, run from a stink bug that just came out of the blue?

Harmonize with the leaky sink until the water runs out, count the ceiling dots until I begin to shout?

May I just find a snowflake to keep in my heart?

May I just find a Love that will never depart?

May I just scream at the sun to stop feeling pity?

On the days when I run in circles in my mental, purple city.

"I am not the traveling salesman. I am the traveling product." -LGH

"Hm, why isn't my blog coming up.. It's in my history, it should come up on the URL.......... Oh whoops, 'bogger' is not correct."

I am sad. 

I do believe that being depressed is more severe. Being upset has a tinge of anger. Being blue has more of a jazzy feel to it. Being melancholy sounds like a rich person kind of sad.

But I am just plain old sad. 

Sad you say? Well, yes. 

I feel alone. I am stuck in the secret place of the Most High, and it's dark in here. 

I could be totally wrong. Maybe I am just very exhausted. Considering I have received about 2.3 hours of sleep this week. I'm starting to see peacock feathers prance around my head. They aren't very colorful. They are as tired as I am. 

This blog is so stupid and pointless. My thoughts are moving at -9.67 MPH and I have no energy to pour my passion into this. This is more... half asleep ranting. I just want to color in my coloring book, eat cocoa puffs, and analyze Edgar Allen Poe. Too bad I have to do chemistry... more chemistry... and squeeze in some English analysis. 

OKAY LYDIA SHUT UP. Stop talking about school. School has betrayed you. You had a wonderful 10 year relationship, why does junior year have to be bad? It's the atmosphere. The kids with joints in between their fingers and diapers under their saggy pants and mini skirts. 

I met this girl name Veronica. I liked her a lot. Then she called us "twinsies" due to our having holes in our stockings. I almost tore my face off. 

I meow at everyone I meet. 

I haven't eaten anything besides fluffernutter sandwiches in the past week. A week is called a week because it makes you SO DAMNED WEAK BY THE END. I'm tired, Lydia. I am tired. 

But I will continue moving forward, since we know in the end it will kill me anyway.

Second post down.

Life Could Be a Dream

Oh my. I did not expect this to be so elegant.

My legs are slowly being roasted by this 3 pound, black kitten. I say to people, "My kittens are my little rays of sunshine." That is no exaggeration nor... cute little pet name, drenched in admiration. I am completely serious. They blast heat into my body to the point where sweat doesn't flow out of me, it just turns into a gas from my pores and evaporates into Lord-knows-where. They are quick little boogers. They go 3.00 x 10^8 m/s. A blast of energy that hits you so hard that the fat on your cheeks meets your ears... you can't help but find yourself smiling.

I wish these whispers would go away.

Sunshine makes me happy. God made light--probably the best of His ideas-- and everyone smiles in the light. Unless it is shone instantly into your face, then you might not be smiling. But of course! Why would you be smiling? All of your guilt, shame, and hidden truths. The lack of light hides them nicely for you, packed into a cauldron of sticky goo.

But not me, no. I embrace the light. Whether it be an interrogation or a big, metal machine delivering supplies... I will embrace it. One ends in a panic attack, another ends in more light. Whether it be a mental rape or a journey through the stars, let the light hold my waist as we dance.

Rest in peace, Pyro. It has been 9 days. You only let me mourn for 3.                     Ebony just put her face on the space bar and.. I'm just gonna keep that because she's cute.

First post down. Let's see where I go.